It’s Okay Not To Be Okay: To The Mom On The Brink

I often find myself lying awake after a late night feeding coupled with a pumping session and my mind tends to wander. I always end up questioning myself, am I a good mom? This is the burning question that every mom has thought about at least once. Are you a good mom?

As a mom with two littles, I am always on the go and find little time for me lately. And honestly, sometimes I need a break while they are both awake – and you know what, I have come to realize, that’s totally okay! We do the best we can as moms, working or stay at home. But mom burnouts are real. Being a little selfish is okay and encouraged. There is no way you can make your kids feel their best if you don’t. They are little monkey-see-monkey-dos. So if you are feeling down, chances are your kids will catch on and might even act out to seek your attention. I know my son mimics me all the time, from taking my pumping parts and pretending to pump to simply pointing at the cats and yelling “no”.

I can’t emphasis this enough – it is so important to take care of yourself. You deserve it! I mean, you grew a tiny human inside you after all. That is hard work. Trust me, I know, it’s exhausting and I bet most of you worked while doing so. So go get yourself a pedicure, splurge on that pumpkin spice cold brew, and get that top from Old Navy. You deserve it girl! The moral here is that it is okay to be selfish, especially if you feel a burn-out coming on. If you need help, reach out. Even if it is just to your mom. We all have been through it, are currently going through it and or eventually will go through it and what we feel matters. If you need a little break, it’s okay. No shame on taking a little me time! I know I do when my husband comes home and after the kids go down, I go downstairs and walk on the treadmill while I watch YouTube videos and if the kids wake up, he knows I’m having me time and he will go and check on them.

Some days you might feel like you’re crushing it. Balancing kids, your job, and what have you. You’re doing everything right, riding high on motherhood and just like that, poof…that time has passed and you feel no good. I feel you and I see you. I’ve been there. That’s a mom burn out and it is okay. The tricky part is that we still have to keep going. We still have to do the dishes, fold the laundry, make breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, mop the floor, smile at our kids, answer emails and etc. It is hard, mamas! So hard! But the next time you feel a burn out coming on, it’s an alarm telling you to put your own needs first! For once. Because after all, you deserve it!

Motherhood is a journey and us moms sometimes need to stop and pause for a second to take it all in. We have real emotions, real blood, real sweat and real tears. We are stronger for it, but we also need to treat ourselves. There is only so much we can handle and taking a step back and doing some things for ourselves is just as important as giving your baby belly raspberries or making silly faces at your toddler to the point of you both laughing so hard you tinkle. I hope you can recognize just how much you are managing. How much you are accomplishing from sun up to sun down. You are a warrior, but even Wonder Woman gets burnt to a crisp. As strong as you are, you have to take care of yourself too. The best part is that everyday is a new day and everyday is a new start. You got this!

So to answer that silly question, YES you are a good mom. You are a rockstar. You are enough. You are a living Wonder Woman. You just need a little me time to accomplish it all. The next time you even think of questioning yourself, just remember – we all get burnt out and that it is okay and tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start. Motherhood is weird, it has so many ups but also so many downs. It’s raw, but you hold it all together like the stickiest super glue. You are a great mom!


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Rachel is a wife and SAHM of two, who lives in the suburbs of Chicago. She loves baking, gardening and all things DIY. She enjoys writing about life with 2 kids under 2, the stresses the NICU has on mothers and the ups and downs of her breastfeeding journey. Learn more about her here!