Nobody dreams of being a step parent.
No little girl sits in her room, playing with her Barbie dolls, and makes one of them a stepmom.
Nobody marries with the intent to divorce so they can then remarry and make someone a step parent.
I knew all of this when I began dating a man with kids.
What I didn’t know what just how hard my path was going to be.
I went in bright-eyed thinking, “This is a great guy that I care about who cares about me! How exciting! He has kid?! Awesome bonus! I love kids!! We’re going to have a blast together!”
What I didn’t think about was how hard it would be to co-parent.
How hard it would be to deal with his ex.
How I would feel about her.
How she would feel about me.
How hard it would be to adapt my parenting style to his.
How hard it would be to both love and to discipline the kids without stepping on his toes (or their moms!).
How hard it would be to get through court dates, holidays without the kids, not being welcomed at school functions and constantly feeling like an outsider.
Don’t get me wrong, my man and the kids have always shown me nothing but love.
Even when I make mistakes.
Even when I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.
Even when my intentions are good but my end results are not.
The rest of the world is not that forgiving.
I let that get to me.
After 3 years I’ve learned (and am still learning) that none of that matters
People outside of your relationship do not matter.
They will talk (people love to talk) and they will give you their unwelcome opinions of you and your life.
But it’s so important to remember…
This is YOUR LIFE. Not theirs.
You know what’s best for you, your partner and the kids.
Do what works for your family
Ignore any outsiders opinions.
All that matters is what your partner and kids think of you.
Do the best you can and just be you!
* This post was submitted anonymously through our guest blogger platform.