Let’s be honest, Mamas, we love to share all the amazing aspects of our families, careers, life events and days that we actually took the time to shower. What we don’t love to share and be vulnerable with are all the not so pretty days and events, at least this is true for me. What I found was that the more time I spent on Facebook or Instagram I was continuously comparing my life with all of these perfect posts and I am here to tell you to STOP this now!
It is no secret that Social Media has caused a rise in depression and anxiety, especially among teens. However, I found that as a new mom, I was beginning to see some traits in myself that I was not very fond of when I would use social media. The jealousy, anger, envy, judgment, and the comparison game was real. The thing was, that as a new mom, I was on my phone way more than I was used to. I was not working, I was home alone most of the day, I was up hours throughout the night for feedings and to be honest for those first few weeks of barricading myself inside with a newborn my phone quickly became my connection to the outside world.
I have spent a lot of time reflecting on my relationship with social media and want to share with you all some important things to keep in mind when you begin to play this game with your emotions:
- Remember that most of the time people are posting the very best of their day. That perfect picture could have been the 300th take. Not to mention the photo apps that are out there- I downloaded one the other day where I was able to erase my under-eye bags and give my skin a bronzed glow.
- People love to share their opinions… but that’s all they are, opinions. I struggled with this especially when it came to parenting. It actually influenced my choice on how I fed my daughter early on. Had I not listened to what I was reading online, my life would have been a lot easier earlier on.
- Be happy for the blessings in other people’s life. I know that is so much easier said than done sometimes. We find ourselves asking questions like: “Why can’t I have that?” or “Why not me?” What is important to remember is that what we are blessed within our own lives with may very well be a hardship that someone else is going through and vice versa.
- You can unfollow whoever you want or at least block their feed from showing up for you to see. There are those people who may just get to you, and that’s OK! No one will ever know that you hid their posts from showing up in your daily feed.
- Disconnect, disconnect, disconnect! Whether it is for 5 minutes, an hour, a day, or a week. It is so important to take breaks from social media and clear your head to focus and be present in your own life.
- Use those perfect blogger’s posts to motivate yourself! It is human nature to be competitive, so why not turn that envy into motivation! I love to follow other mommy bloggers, I have found so many awesome tips and products by doing so.
- During those early days of having a newborn, there is so much downtime for feedings, naps, and pumping. This is when I would have my phone in hand WAY too much. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media- use this time to purchase a new Kindle novel, download an audiobook or podcast, start a journal or letters for your little one, scroll through Pinterest or take this time to pray over your new bundle of joy!
Mama’s, no one’s life is perfect, no matter how they make it look through photos. We have so much pressure put on us today, we do not need social media as another one of those contributing factors. Maybe it is because I have a daughter of my own now, I always want her to be respected and treated with kindness, I am truly trying to embrace lifting one another up regardless of my own feelings. What I have found in doing so is that the comparison and jealousy game that I was playing earlier on is no longer a source of hidden anxiety when I am scrolling through my social media pages. We all do life a little differently and that’s what makes each of our stories so unique. Keep doing you, Mama, and don’t let social media get in your way!