I love being a Mama, that’s right I said it. I love it with everything that I am. I love watching my son learn, grow and change on a daily basis. I love taking care of him and teaching him to be independent. Why does this sound so crazy to say out loud? You may be thinking, yeah so what I love my kids too. But here is the thing, nobody says these things out loud anymore. It has become more of the social protocol to complain about our kids, to complain about how hard motherhood is and all that is expected out of us.
Before you get defensive, I am in no way saying that Motherhood isn’t extremely hard, its the most exhausting job a person could ever do. It is hard to be needed all the time, but it is also the greatest blessing you will ever receive. You have the power to shape a baby into a person, this is a gift. You have a little one that loves you more than anything. It is hard but so worth it.
Before you stop reading because you think you can not relate….I challenge you to read to to the end AND to think about this article the next time you are in a social setting with other mamas. Sit back and listen to the conversations, what are these mamas saying? How do you think they feel about their kids when you listen to them talk? I challenge you to hear them and then listen to yourself, if you notice what I do, then try thinking and changing how you talk about your role as Mama. Try switching your mindset and throw in some positive moments that you have had with your children recently. I truly believe our mindset is what sets the tone for our life. Sure I could sit here and think of all the negative and hard things that happen each day to me. Of course I would love and probably need way more sleep than I am getting, but I choose to process those moments and move on and at the end of the day focus on all the positive moments that happened. Try it… see if it works for you!
Ok, now read on and see what you think…
As a first time mama I was excited to take my son to local play groups, library story times and programs for babies, yet when I am there all I hear are moms complaining about how hard everything is. They talk about how their child is misbehaving, how they have no time to themselves, how much their child needs them. They talk about what their child is not doing yet, where they struggle and how they can’t wait for the baby to reach the next stage so they will need them less. When you sit back and listen to it, it’s all negative. There are not any positive things about motherhood thrown in there. I often sit there feeling awkward and uncomfortable because all I want to say is how much I love my son. I want to tell someone about how he learned to sit up, how he is feeding himself, how cute it is when he hugs a toy, and all about that awesome hug he gave me when he woke up from his nap. I know if I shared these things people would look at me like I was a lunatic and just assume this wasn’t the “whole” truth and I must be in denial about “real” motherhood or better yet the famous response of “just wait”. Just wait until he grows up and stops listening, just wait until he isn’t so cute anymore, just wait until he is moving all over and into everything.
This response makes me feel like I cannot say out loud all the positive things that I want to share about my experience in motherhood. It makes me feel that I can not possibly understand how hard motherhood is because I have not been in it long enough. I truly hope they are wrong. I hope I always love it this much and even more, I hope others mamas do too!
Here is the thing, I am not in any way saying that we should only talk about the positives and “mom shame” someone for not feeling the positives. I am just saying we may be going overboard with all the negative “real talk”. I feel as if I am an outnumbered mama because I have so many more positive things to say than things I dislike about my daily role as a mother. I really do hope there are some positive moments for you and your chid on a daily basis. I hope you are much happier than the version of motherhood that you are telling your girlfriends about.
I know that raising a child is hard work and I feel overwhelmed at times. I often lay in bed and analyze my day wondering if I did enough for my son, feeling the guilt when I convince myself that I could have done more. I think about the plan I make for the next day and how I will do better. This would be nice to hear from other mothers – their fears, their dreams for their children, asking for advice and receiving an actual answer or a simple “I’m sorry you are having a hard time, I did too, and you will survive”. We don’t need to hide any part of motherhood, the good the bad, the sad and the joy.
There is so much joy that happens every day and I truly hope other mamas are catching it. I hope they are enjoying these moments just as much as I do and I truly hope they start sharing them! Sing your child’s praises! Brag about being a great mama, you deserve it! Help inspire our tribe of women who are strong, beautiful mothers by sharing your truth. When you hear a mama speaking happily about her child or herself in a proud motherhood moment, don’t feel jealous, don’t shame her. Be proud of her, compliment her and think about all the ways you rocked at motherhood recently too. Or maybe you can decide to try something in a different way, a way that will make you feel proud of yourself.
One last time for the people in the back, motherhood is HARD! We all need support and if you feel that there are only negative moments in your day, then you may need to reach out and get more support. But first try thinking about all the happy moments and if you find some, focus on them. Tell your friends and celebrate being a MAMA. It truly is a blessing to be a mama. There are so many women out there that would give anything to be in your shoes. Please try to appreciate your role, enjoy your child and all these beautiful moments we get the pleasure of being a part of.