mom life

Defining Our Identity

Right then I fell apart, and it was the most beautiful moment, because right then I knew I could put the pieces back together.

I used to look in the mirror and absolutely hate everything I saw, then something changed, something hit me. My eyes were opened and I realized I was a work in progress, not an overnight miracle. It takes time to stop fantasizing about what your life should be, and what it should look like. Learning to appreciate where you are right now is a hard lesson, but a lesson that pays off in the long run.

I have been through hell, friend. I almost lost my life, my marriage, I was head over heels in debt, gave up on my family, walked away, you name it- life was a living hell, falling apart all at once. The main cause of all this disaster was a title I gave myself, “infertile”. I thought I had it all and everything I wanted would come just as the fairytale picture I had in my head. It was pretty picture perfect, until it wasn’t. The picture broke and all the pieces came crashing down.

I was missing something, I was yearning for something and needed it so badly, but yet it was not what I thought I needed.

Then I found Jesus, my savior. Not that he was lost, but I was. I was saved, and then it all made sense. Everything made sense. I finally realized infertility does not define me, its not my entire story but just a part of my journey. Putting labels on ourselves is not the answer. Whatever we are struggling with is just a part of our journey, it does not complete our identity. We are SO MUCH MORE than those little bumps along the way. Whatever it is that you may be struggling with, have struggled with, or will struggle with in the future it does not define you.

Struggles are not something to be ashamed of if we can learn from them and grow from them.

The moment we accept ourselves is the moment we become beautiful and powerful. Ladies, we are both. We are beautiful just as we are, no need to change anything for anyone. Ditch the labels, the identity markers, and accept yourself just as you are. We are powerful because we have the power to do just that, be ourselves just as we are and know we are beautiful.

We can keep trying to steal other peoples crowns but you should know that they’re never going to fit you, feel good on you, or satisfy you.

My past is not pretty, definitely not picture perfect, but its me and it got me here today. I am a 31-year-old mother that struggles with infertility. I am not an infertile woman. Those are two different titles, I prefer the one without the label.

My greatest lesson thus far is realizing that becoming a mother did not mean for me to get pregnant, carry the child, and deliver the child. Motherhood comes in many different ways, many. As most of my life story, mine was not typical! I may not share the same blood as my children but we share love and that is all that matters. Realizing this lesson is what allowed me to remove my labels. Love makes a family.


be kind & be you


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