Being one of the first to have children in both mine and my husband, Greg’s group of friends we found a lot of them had questions.
A main one was “How does having kids change your relationship?”
It’s a bit of a hard question to answer as everyone’s experience is different. So to answer it for us- it was a little like this.
For us it was, it was basically love at first site. After not being together long at all (only 6 months pre falling pregnant) and only just under a year and a half before having kids, we never got that much time together. So when the time came and the baby bundle arrived we were a little bit over whelmed.
I always tell people after having babies you see the best and the worst in your partner. You may resent they can’t carry the baby, feed or birth when you’re in those really hard times. I hated watching him continue to have a life that was almost the same pre kids. He has the same body, is still going to work, still sleeping through the night, and still hangs out with his friends with out juggling sleeps, feeding and nappies.
It was really hard to adjust to mum life.
On the flip side of that you see the very best. You see the patience with a hormonal wife and crying baby, and the support they can offer. You see them rocking the baby to sleep at night when you’ve had enough, bringing you snacks when you’re hungry and breast feeding, choosing to sit at home with you instead of going out, and changing and playing with the baby while you catch up on sleep.
All these things make you fall deeper in love.
It is 100% a juggle and something every couple will have a different experience with. Nothing is perfect and the most perfect couple will have times that are tough and testing.
The best advice I have is to communicate and ask for help from your partner, as well as family and friends.
Since having our second we have a rhythm. We have more family activities, lots of compromise and more time spent with just us, as a couple. Setting up a calendar is key 👌🏽