It was the November 2003. I was 15 years old, and had been dating him for a few months when I decided that I was going to have sex for the first time. Again I was 15, never really had a clue about monitoring periods, pregnancy etc. A little naive, if you will.
Fast forward to May 2004. I was getting ready for prom with my friends (after a pretty rough few months being in the middle of a custody battle between my parents) and I noticed the dress I had just bought a month before no longer fit like it did when I first bought it.
So did my mom.
I went off to prom, had a great time and finished up the weekend at home. The next Monday I went to school and received a note that I was going home for the afternoon. It was my mom picking me up to take me to the doctors because she had a feeling I was pregnant. In the car on the way there I remember laughing at her and saying she was crazy, it only happened one time and it was back in November.
We walked into the doctors office, went back into a room and the doctor came in. I remember at that time getting extremely nervous, but I did not know why. She gave me a cup, I went to the bathroom and came out. The doctor came back within 10 minutes to tell us the results.
I was pregnant.
I instantly got sick to my stomach and thought to myself “What the heck am I going to do!?” My mom was in shock and she did not say much after that. The doctor asked me a series of questions, none of which I could really answer because, like I said, I never really paid attention to when I got my periods. She sent me to another room and did an ultrasound to determine how far along I really was. After she completed her exam and measurements of the baby she told me I was due around August 19th, 2004 and ITS A GIRL! August 19th?! That was only 3 months away! How did I not know?
On July 22nd, 2004 after being in preterm labor for around 2 weeks, I gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl, Michelle Elizabeth. One look at her, and I knew I was destined to be her mother. It was 8 days shy of my 16th birthday, and I was a mom. I promised her on that day, I would never give up and I will always do my best to be a great mom to her. I was not going to let the stigmas surrounding teenage pregnancy affect anything.
I was going to beat the statistics.
For two days I sat in the hospital just staring at her, holding her and loving her. For a moment, I forgot that I was just a baby myself.
Fifteen years later, I still hold those same promises to her (at least I think I do, with a few bumps here and there… I AM STILL HUMAN).
I proved every person that doubted me wrong. I graduated high school with HONORS, went to college and got a degree. All while working and taking care of her without much help.
Life was definitely not easy. I still dealt with all the teenage drama, breakups, being broke etc. But I never let it steer me from my ultimate goal….providing Michelle with the best life possible.
Now I am raising a daughter, who is 15 (along with another 14 year old bonus daughter, and two 10 year old boys; biological and bonus). She is the same age as I was when I became pregnant with her. She is smart, sassy, beautiful and completely obsessed with school. When she first got a boyfriend, I was worried. But hoped I had raised her to know she can always come to me and how to prevent teen pregnancy. It is a conversation I have openly with her, because it was not a conversation my parents were willing to have with me. While I do not regret being her mother, as it has made me who I am today, I do not want the same for my children (or bonus ones). There are times where I wonder who I would be today if I had not become a teen mom, but the answers are blank.
Yes, I am often asked how old she is and how old I am, and I watch those who ask do the math in their heads and just stare at me. I just simply say, “Yes, I was a teen mom.” My daughter often gets the same treatment from people that ask her the same questions. She just smiles and tells them they’d be lucky to have me as a mom. GOAL ACCOMPLISHED. No matter how many times we argue or “I’m ruining her life” because I take her phone; she always knows I always did my best.
As a probation officer, I often come in contact with girls in similar situations. Not the best family life, lost in the world, and making poor decisions. I try to use my struggles and most importantly my accomplishments to help them get on the right path in life and not dwell on what could have been done and focus on what CAN be done. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But just like 15 years ago, I never stop trying.
It is true that your current life is, to a large extent, the result of your past actions, choices and experiences. The great news, however, is that your future is determined by how you act in the present moment. In other words, your past does not have to define you or your future.
Nicolette Geigle is a wife and mom to 4 amazing kids (2 bio, and 2 bonus). She works as a Parole Office and resides in Metro Detroit. You can usually find her supporting her daughter at dance, or on the sidelines cheering her sons on in sports. Read more about her here!