Hey mama, I see you.
I see you in all your hot mess glory.
I see you with those bags under your eyes, because you were up with the baby in the night. I see you in your stained shirt that you smelled this morning before you put it on. I see you with your day old make up and messy bun, because that’s all you’ve got the time and energy for. I see you with your extra large Diet Coke you snagged in the McDonald’s drive-thru after you dropped your daughter off at preschool.
I see you, and I feel you.
I feel those nagging negative thoughts that keep popping up into your mind today, “I am a hot mess.” “I am barely surviving.” “Am I doing enough?” “Am I enough?” “My kids deserve better.” “My husband deserves more.” “I am failing.”
You, my sweet friend, are not alone.
And for the record, you’re doing great! You aren’t failing. You are being a Mom.
“But look at Sarah and her perfect Instagram life. She never wears day old make up, and stained clothes. She never has bags under her eyes. Her skin is glowing, and her smile is so perfect. She drinks water and protein shakes and has the perfect butt in her Lululemon yoga pants. Her kids are always dressed in matching clothes, with their hair tied up perfectly in a bow. She’s never late for preschool pick up, and she always brings healthy homemade snacks.”
“I forgot it was our snack day and had to run to the grocery store before school and sent my child in with Goldfish.”
Girlfriend, snap out of it. You’re living the real mom life. The one where we make mistakes… constantly. The one where our alarms don’t go off, so our kids are late to school… again. The one where we have cereal for dinner because that’s all the energy we have left for at the end of the day. The one where the laundry piles up until the mountain is so high there is no possible way we can fold it all. The one where we survive on Diet Coke and a cat nap while the kids have TV time. The one where we put on a movie just to entertain the kids for a few hours.
BUT… You are also living the one where you held your daughter today and rocked her in the rocking chair while you sang songs. You got down on the floor with your son and played race cars. You told your kids about a million times how much you love them. You covered your babies from head to toe with kisses. And when they asked for a silly snack, you arranged those leftover goldfish you sent to school on a plate to look like they were under the sea.
So, your Instagram doesn’t look like Sarah’s does. Who cares? Your life reel looks happy, full of love, giggles, and snuggles. One day you’ll look back on these memories and you won’t remember that you looked a hot mess. You’ll remember your daughters face as you sang together. You’ll remember how much your son loved crashing his car into yours. You’ll remember how there are never enough kisses to cover your babies with.
That stain on your shirt? It’s because yesterday, you let your kids make slime, and those sticky little hands hugged you to tell you “Thanks mom, this was so much fun.”
Those bags under your eyes? It’s because your daughter needed you, not daddy, YOU to snuggle her back to sleep (because you give better back rubs).
Your day old make up? Oh yea, you stayed up late helping your son finish his science project and didn’t have the energy to wash your face afterwards.
Mama, you may think you’re a hot mess. But what I see is a mama who puts everyone before herself. Who makes sure her children know just how loved they are. A mama that plays cars and sings songs because the laundry can wait (at least it’s clean). I see a mama that makes sure her babies are taken care of in all the necessary ways. And I see children that love and adore you because you are the one that showed them how to love and adore.
What I see is A Beautiful Disaster.
And it truly is, beautiful.
You, Mama, Are The Most Beautiful Disaster.
Laurel Dowse is a wife and mom to 2 girls and a baby on the way. She is a SAHM by day, and teaches dance a few nights a week. She loves true crime podcasts, binge-watching her favorite shows, and encourages naps! She is a cancer survivor after being diagnosed with malignant melanoma on her leg in 2015. You can read more about her here!