Most of us have been there. We lose a friend. Sometimes it is a friend that we aren’t super close with anyway, but sometimes it is someone that we once considered a best friend.
This happened to me a few years ago, and honestly I had a pit at the bottom of my stomach for weeks. At first I felt extreme sadness because even though we had begun to drift apart, not too long before our downfall I had considered her one of my best friends. We went on road trips together, cried with each other, told each other our biggest secrets, shared the same taste in music, listened to each other, amongst so much more. And even though our friendship started to dwindle before it came to a screaming hault, it still hurt tremendously when she stabbed me in the back.
Those first couple of months it felt like a break up with a boyfriend. I went from being filled with a sadness to being filled with anger. I couldn’t stand the thought of her.
But as time went on, things got better and now I am thankful for our broken friendship. In fact, she has taught me so much about myself, and what kinds of friends I want in my life, as well as what kind of friend I want to be.
She has taught me that even though I want to be able to be transparent with my friends, sometimes it is best to keep some things to myself. She has taught me that not everyone is my friend, and that friendship status is something that is earned, not something that should be given too quickly. I realized I let her in to the wonderful, as well as the not so proud moments of my life too quickly. She taught me that a true friend should be someone I can be myself around. I shouldn’t have to feel like I need to be a different person, one she would approve of when we would go out for coffee. She taught me that I deserve a friend that not only accepts me as a good person, but also accepts me as a broken person and doesn’t judge me for things she may not agree with that are part of my past. She taught me that a true friendship shouldn’t have to feel like work; real friends can go some time without talking to one another and pick right back up where they left off. Lastly, she taught me that true friends support one another’s accomplishments. They don’t try to put their friend down when their friend is successful at something. They don’t try to do something to belittle their friend.
I’m no longer hurt by the way our friendship ended, but I am grateful. I can never replace our memories we made together, nor do I ever want to but I have replaced the hole I felt those first few months after our friendship ended.